The aunties who regularly remind us to stay out of the sun? What would we do if they did not give us valuable advice on all the clothes and makeup we shouldn’t wear as dark girls who will never get married? Our life would lose all meaning if no one told us to bleach our faces till they burn and we end up hating our own skin.
Dark girls shouldn’t get highlights
So, the basis behind this is that Auntie X woke up on the wrong side of the bed and decided to comment on her neighbour’s daughter’s skin tone. She added some unsolicited advice about not getting highlights. That’s all. If you were looking for legitimate advice, you’re in the wrong place.
Dark girls shouldn’t wear frosty lipsticks
Halle Berry, Oscar-winning actor, Bond girl, and model for Revlon’s metallic, frosty lipsticks, will be very disappointed to know that she shouldn’t be wearing frosty lipsticks. Or maybe she gives no fucks. Yes, must be the latter.
Dark girls shouldn’t wear bright colours
Bright colours are meant for women with fair skin, as is everything else, be it eligible boys or makeup. If you don’t believe aunty ji on this, check out Mindy Kaling looking totally non-resplendent and non-sexy in this bright fuchsia dress.
Dark girls shouldn’t wear makeup
Since dark girls aren’t allowed to go out in the sun or wear what they want, or have any kind of a life at all, why should we be allowed to wear makeup?
Dark girls shouldn’t wear red lipstick
In the words of world-famous rapping legend (haha!) A$AP Rocky, who has had exactly one hit thanks to Selena Gomez, dark girls should not wear red lipstick. We suggest A$AP visit India and make friends with all the aunties here, who will for sure spread word about who he is — something he needs badly before making comments about women 10 times more famous than him.
Dark girls shouldn’t wear pastel colours
This is because having light skin means wearing light coloured clothes, according to some geniuses. Surprisingly though, dark girls all over the world, be it Jourdan Dunn or Rihanna, wore pastels, and the world did not stop spinning.
Dark girls shouldn’t get too many piercings
Aunties made this a thing because the government does not tax people for giving arbitrary and baseless advice to others.
Dark girls shouldn’t wear dark colours
So, here are all the colours dark girls cannot wear: neon, bright, pastel, dark. Unless aunties suggest we start a nudist propaganda, this amazing rulebook sure does make clothing oneself impossible.